Thursday, December 29, 2011

BRAINRUSH II

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Brainrush was quite a thriller with unanticipated turns and twists until the very end. A story that started in California, traveled to Venice and Afghanistan to end back in the sunny valley of Redondo, CA. The plot has everything - bad ass guy trying to wage a jihad, a normal ex-army dude whose brain suddenly develops superhuman abilities, aliens, death defying stunts to rescue the love of his life, etc. It's got it all! Its a kind of book that would make a cheesy but entertaining movie.

It made for a pretty good mindless read so after I finished it, I went hunting for part II to find out what happens with our superhuman guy with this amazing brain. Also the die-hard jihadi from Book I hasn't been killed yet so I was sure he would make an appearance in the sequel; which he does. The book opens to all sorts of actions with the jihadis on the tail of our hero, his love and his friends (the ones who assisted him in Afghanistan). Anyway, long story short, for now I'll keep reading and see where this overwhelming sequence of events takes us.

For a new author, the story line is really not bad. He hooks you in and keeps you engaged, the thing most first time writers dread whether they will be able to do. My only suggestion to the author is to concentrate on 1 or 2 sub-plots at a time. Trying to mush in everything makes the reader feel saturated. Part I was going well until the alien thing came up. Granted it gave the story a nice sub-plot but not sure if it was really necessary.

Christmas was spent with part I; I'll go into the New Year with part II. Happy 2012! May the New Year bring us peace, satisfaction and make us thankful for everything this wonderful life has offered!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

BRAINRUSH

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The Bhagavad Gita took its toll on me. By the end, I was absolutely overwhelmed and waiting to finish it. The message of the scripture is very powerful but after a long while, my fleeting mind wanted something a little less serious to dwell on. I, however, did not give up on it and was relieved when it finally got done.
With all the upcoming holiday sales, Kindle books are a dime a dozen! This meant I could splurge on a few without busting out my wallet. And splurge I did. Add to the fun, I received a secret santa $25 gift certificate for Amazon! So bubbling with excitement; I don’t know how to spend my newly discovered riches!
Back to the Kindle sales, hundreds of books are going for less than $5 so I took the chance and bought a few  from lesser known authors but with good reviews. One of them that I now have started reading is called BRAINRUSH. Not sure why its all caps, but that’s the way it is.
Anyway, so the book is about this ex-army tough guy who was diagnosed with some sort of cancer (I forget which) a few years ago and fought back until it went into remission. Everything was hunky-dory until a few months ago when the cancer returns, this time as a tumor in the brain. The scene opens with him lying in an MRI scanner when the power suddenly goes off and he gets knocked around as a result. When the power finally comes back on, pissed, he gets off the machine and makes his way home, realizing something in his gray cells is not the same.
He has become a savant and has developed an eidetic memory. Now, he is a good guy so there has to be a bad guy lurking around somewhere. Turns out the bad guy is in Venice, in charge of this really big hospital for autistic children. On the face of it he appears to want to change the children’s lives and study them to prevent the disease from affecting others, blah blah but in reality he wants to understand how some of these children have these superhuman capabilities – able to learn a new language in a month, paint a Picasso and so on so he can use them on normal humans and make them deadly Al Qaeda weapons, yikes!
So one thing leads to another and the good guy comes to the bad guy’s attention. We’ll see what happens next. To be honest, it’s really not a bad version of events so far. The author is doing a good job of holding the story together and consequently the interest of his reader. Apparently there is a Part II as well.
I am ringing in the holidays with some travel, some mindless reads and family. Hope you enjoy yours too, under the Christmas tree, with a glass of eggnog; preferably with rum; opening presents and sharing some laughs with people that in the end matter the most.
Wish you a warm and happy holiday season!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The unknown life

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This morning I came across a beautiful article that talked about how the righteous always face an up-hill battle but for the wrong doers, things seem to be a lot easier. Somehow, I agree with that. It's always easier to eat up a piece of cookie or devour a yummy chocolate cake but so much harder to say no and walk away from it. I know the article meant about more intense things in life - upholding dharma, being kind, etc. - but I think these things are also a part of it.

I am in no way obsessed with the way I look and what weight I carry but I take care of my body because this is the vehicle I need in order to learn from life and ensure I walk the right path. If my body is not sound, my mind will be caught up in the disease and naturally other, more important things, will take a back seat. It is not about eating little but eating right.

The article further went on to say calamities happen with everyone and it is impossible to determine the cause or the reason for these. Whenever something goes wrong in life, we always fling our hands and ask "why, God why? Why me?" When I was in India, while conversing with a young lady about something awful that had befallen her and her family, she said something that stuck with me throughout. She said, "Why not me?" Now that doesn't mean she is praying for bad things to happen to her, I'm sure quite the contrary, but when things go sour she is standing bravely to face them without complaining.

Good times and bad whirl us around on the wheel of time and life is incomplete without a taste of either. The article goes on to state things happen as a result of our actions in our past lives. Karma makes good or bad things happen. This doesn't mean the guy swindling people and getting away with it did everything right in his past life. Even if he did, he blew his chances this time around, didn't he?

The idea is sometimes we question adversity (never happiness) and wonder why it is happening. The answer is -- something from a past life has to be resolved and this is the way to get rid of it. Sometimes we question certain events and the answer is - we don't need to know why they happened yet. Perhaps at a more conducive time in the future, they will be revealed. Sometimes maybe not, because we really don't need to know why. The important thing is to learn from it and move on. Treat each experience as a lesson. Treat this universe as a school and we are students. We enter and leave based on our soul's need for education. When we graduate, we won't return. Until then we keep learning.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Distrust & disdain

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I have a problem with the word of man. We humans are a very tricky species. In order to gain power, affluence, recognition, etc. we love to manipulate. Not to say that everyone does, but given a chance the majority of us would take up the offer to deceive and derive benefit as a result.
Today I was reading the Bhagavad Gita on the bus and in one of the verses Krishna describes to Arjuna his ideal follower – someone who doesn’t eat a lot, but doesn’t eat too little either, someone who doesn’t sleep a lot but doesn’t sleep too little either. OK so I get the point; any kind of indulgence, over or under, is bad. I could abide by this not only for my spiritual well-being but for my physical sustenance as well.
So after each verse, the author launches into an explanation of the verse which in most cases is helpful since my knowledge of the spiritual realm is limited. What, however, I do not like is the author’s nonstop ability to introduce his own views in the explanations. For instance, while explaining a particular verse he puts certain class of people down by saying what they are doing is wrong or sinful or doesn’t take you to the right path. If Krishna didn’t say so in the entire scripture, who is he to claim thus? Who is he to say one class of people is better because they follow what I am preaching over the other class because they are clueless? Is it really spiritual glory to say I’m better than someone else? And if it is, I am better off without it!
Coming back to the eat and sleep verse – here the author introduces his own idea and claims anyone who sleeps for more than 6 hours is lazy. And pray tell us how did you come to that conclusion? Did divinity, who decided it not fit for Arjuna to know so, think you would benefit more from it? To give him some credit, maybe his experience taught him so but my only point is if Krishna refrained from putting a number on the hours of sleep needed why did the Bhaktivedanta guy find it impossible to stop at that as well? Yes admittedly its a small thing but it gets under my skin that people want to quantify that which is boundless!
I am not a big fan of saints – barring a few I wasn’t around to see (Jesus – yes I think he was a saint, Buddha – yes, him too and Vivekananda) I don’t like the idea of saints. Maybe I am cynical because where I grew up there were everyday tales of saints getting into women’s clothes, raiding ashrams for prostitution and in general not practicing absolutely anything they preach. It’s unfortunate because somewhere in this world lie some saints who are truly glorious and worthy of being heard. I will be happy if I find one in my lifetime.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Gita

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For a while now my mind has been quiet, devoid of any thoughts. This is partly responsible for my inactivity here. The other reason for the inactivity is the powerful messages I am reading leave no room for anything else. I've been indulging in the Bhagavad Gita or the Song of the Lord.

The Gita is a masterpiece and the one thing I truly love about it is the relevancy of its message. Although narrated by Krishna to the warrior prince Arjuna, on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, some 5000 years ago it can be applied to daily life even in this era. Despite being a spiritual text it is oddly human and advocates the message of doing your duty without any attachment to the outcome. Our duty lies in working towards the ultimate consciousness and in that name whatever we do -- Arjuna had to kill his cousins, uncles and teachers -- is a duty to the Lord. By this I do not mean that the Gita advocates meaningless killing, quite the contrary, but it says if all doors to justice are closed and war is the only way then so be it. BUT we must ensure that every other way has been investigated and sought out.

The 700 verses are quite overwhelming but can also provide purpose to one's everyday living. A few points, that stuck out so far, are summarized here.
  • The soul is immortal - it does not take birth nor does it die. As we throw out old garments and get new ones, the soul casts off old bodies and regenerates in new ones. In short, no one can kill you. You are immortal.
  • Whatever occurred in the past was for good, whatever happens in the future will be for your good too. Do not regret over the past or worry about the future. The only thing we can control is the present. Work on it.
  • We arrived in this world empty-handed and will return back to the Source empty-handed. Nothing is ours; this illusion of belonging is the cause of our suffering.
  • Change is the quintessential law of the Universe. Nothing in the Universe is static and we are all subject to this law.
  • We are the soul and not the body. By falsely identifying with the body we cause suffering. The body dies and disintegrates into the 5 elements with which it was formed. The soul is eternal and unchanging.
  • Surrender yourself to the will of God, receiving both success and failure with equanimity.
  • Work in the service of the Lord, never stop working but dedicate every act -- the work you perform, the food you eat, even your suffering -- to the Lord. This will release you from karma's bondage and result of actions both good and bad.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Song of Creation

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This morning, walking to work, I had a strong desire to listen to one of my favorite hymns from the Rigveda – the Nasadiya Sukta. The Rigveda is a vast reservoir of treasures where one hymn triumphs the other in terms of poetic magnificence, its message and holding you in its grasp while everything else moves on, but the Nasadiya Sukta is special. Most hymns are for earth, wind, fire, various Gods but the Nasadiya Sukta is about cosmology and creation.  
It’s a simple chant that shows how the early man expressed his doubts of the age-long question haunting mankind – where did we come from? Who is the creator of this universe? The questions might seem simple – generations of humans since have asked them to no avail – but it’s the author’s poetic brilliance that stands apart and threatens to completely overwhelm you.
We have all wondered what came first – the hen or the egg but to write it in a way that titillates your senses and make your hair stand on your skin, defying the laws of gravity, is indeed a feat. Not only does the author convince you the questions in the hymn are central to our existence but also puts into perspective how minute and irrelevant everything else is.
Like all Vedas and other religious texts written at the time, no one knows who wrote this hymn. With the emphasis placed on the art form no one, including the author, gave significance to the idea of fame and glory. Thousands of pieces of classic literature is rampant, even today, with no one sure of their author or its origin.
My first thought on hearing the Nasadiya Sukta was the Big Bang – the primordial way in which scientists believe our universe started. There is a lot of debate about this; the central question being how could something have come out of nothing? Quite appropriately the hymn starts with “Then was not non-existent nor existent: there was no realm of air, no sky beyond it. What covered in, and where?”
It questions many things, many aspects of traditional beliefs – it tells you how there was something despite nothing but also questions how it came about. It renders the Gods helpless by simply stating they came after creation so they ought not to know anything; but also promulgates the belief of a grand master, a designer who brought about the world as we know it. Despite such ideas, it stands unconvinced, the author unable to conclude how and where things came from. The grand master may be the designer; maybe he knows how it all started but perhaps he doesn’t know either.
For me, the hymn is a paradox – it shows how even at that time there was struggle with the idea of creation. Its central message being people of that era believed there was something that created us but still couldn’t come around to accept it. For centuries since we are still struggling to understand where and how creation took place; if we are alone in the universe, if there is only one universe or a multitude of verses all with their own laws and perhaps their own unique set of creations. The language of the questions may have become complex as we learn more and more about the universe we inhabit but the basic message is identical – we may accept the idea of a grand designer or we may defy it. Either way, we are ignorant about how we came into existence.   No matter how advanced our technology is, the answer to this basic question continues to elude us.
Nasadiya Sukta - 129th hymn of the 10th Mandala of the Rigveda
Translated by Ralph T.H. Griffith
Then was not non-existent nor existent: there was no realm of air, no sky beyond it. What covered in, and where? And what gave shelter? Was water there, unfathomed depth of water?
Death was not then, nor was there aught immortal: no sign was there, the day’s and night’s divider. That One Thing, breathless, breathed by its own nature: apart from it was nothing whatsoever.
Darkness there was: at first concealed in darkness this All was indiscriminate chaos. All that existed then was void and formless: by the great power of Warmth was born that Unit.
Thereafter rose Desire in the beginning, Desire, the primal seed and germ of Spirit. Sages who searched with their heart’s thought discovered the existent’s kinship in the non-existent.
Transversely was their severing line extended: what was above it then and what below it? There were begetters, there were mighty forces, free action here and energy up yonder.
Who verily knows and who can here declare it, whence it was born and whence comes into creation? The Gods are later than this world’s production. Who knows then whence it first came into being?
He, the first origin of this creation, whether he formed it all or did not form it, Whose eye controls this world in highest heaven, he verily knows it, or perhaps he knows not.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

End of days?

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Last night, The Universe on History International kicked off a new season with an interesting episode -- Sun's evil twin, Nemesis. There is a school of thought that proposes a star called Nemesis is orbiting our Sun and every 26 million years comes close to it which causes worldwide destruction and annihilation of species. Geologists have looked at all mass extinctions caused up to today and surprisingly realized they occur exactly every 26 million years. So far this has happened about 5 maybe 6 times, the last one wiping out the gigantic dinosaurs.

The program then went on to suggest how these extinctions were a boon to mankind since they destroyed the dominant species of the time and paved the way for mammals to evolve, ultimately resulting in the human species taking over Earth. I was, however, more interested in learning about the extinctions so I went hunting.

About 73,000 years ago we had a close call with an extinction, although it didn't wipe out everyone. A massive volcano erupted on the island of Sumatra, blocking the sun's rays and reducing the Earth's temperature by 9 degrees F. Humans were reduced to only a few pockets and only about 10,000 of us survived this major catastrophe.

The event before that occurred 65 million years ago and wiped out almost everyone, along with the dinosaurs, when a giant rock was hurled from space. Now that got me thinking -- if these geeks are proposing an extinction event every 26 million years then how did we get so lucky and are still surviving? Nemesis has got to orbit close to 3 times more now but it didn't cause any events. Is the star losing its power or is some one else watching to make sure we cause our own extinction without any outside help?

I didn't finish the program; maybe they had some answers for this conflict but it definitely highlighted how fragile life is in this vastness of ever expanding and fastly accelerating universe. There is so much out there we don't know and don't understand; our solar system is but the size of a pin head in our own galaxy and perhaps doesn't even count in the unimaginable depth of space. To deny the possibility of life elsewhere is stupid but to dicount how valuable and precious life is, despite the universe's size, is naive. 10,000 to 7 billion; we've come a long way but we are never far from a lurking asteroid or comet threatening to destroy every single evidence of us ever have existed. It is not a question of if but of when. We are waiting, solemnly, for everything to be destroyed and for the cycle of life to renew. It would just be a whole lot nicer if we waited without causing so much destruction of our own.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Random reading

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I shamefully admit Anna Karenina was too much for me and I dropped it before India and read two fun Jack Reacher novels in India. The problem with Ms. Karenina was way too many details, a slower than poison pace and many others I don't even remember. Perhaps I didn't have the best translation and could feel differently with a different version. For now though, I've had enough of her and her snotty Russian society.

This past week I read Lie Down with Lions by Ken Follett; nothing to take home about. Just mindless reading. 

Yesterday I ventured into the library and on the suggestion of a colleague went in search for The Russian Revolution by Richard Pipes. Now I am a history buff but this book was too much for me. Very detailed and complex, almost felt as if reading a text book, so I abandoned it too.  Now I am on another search - what to read? Lately I've been moody opting for fun, mindless books compared to something a little more stimulating. I guess its a phase but I really feel lost after I've finished a book not knowing what I want next!

While I wander around this weekend looking for something stimulating and fun, Happy Halloween!



Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The festival season is here!

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Since I've been back in New York, walking around dreary-eyed carrying my jetlag on my already burdened shoulders I haven't had motivation to do much. That also includes an over due account of my experiences in India. For most of the trip the sweltering heat refrained  me from doing anything meaningful besides eating heavy lunches and taking blissful afternoon naps in the blowing A/C. But we did manage to steal a day and take a trip about an hour away from the Gateway of India to visit the Elephanta Caves.

The caves are built on a lush green but steamy island in the middle of the Arabian Sea. Growing up I never got a chance to visit them but had heard much about them. No body knows why the caves were built or when but through some dating they've concluded the caves were built around the time Buddhism was flourishing in India; which makes them very, very old. The journey to get there is less than perfect and when you land on the island you cannot help but ignore the local vendors who are supported through tourism. The entire place before the caves begin feels like a tourist trap with vendors trying to sell you everything from water to food to beautiful elephant motifs and silk paintings.

The fees to enter the caves are reasonable for Indians but there is a spike for foreigners. Much to the dismay of the security there; we passed my husband for an Indian, ha! They were not too happy about it but I guess they couldn't do much. Once you enter the caves  the entire dynamic changes. For Indian standards, they were kept quite well but unfortunately there is still some littering that happens.

There are 5 distinct caves marked as 2, 3, 4 and 5 but the real attraction is in the main cave. Beautiful statues; most of them sadly broken or disfigured remind us of the artistic beauty of a time lost but not forgotten. All the caves house the shiv ling, the eternal representation of the Hindu deity, Shiva. There are many other statues cut out of giant rocks showing Shiv-Parvati's wedding, their children and some that resembled angels. Another rock with a lost bottom part shows Shiva performing the cosmic dance to destroy a weary universe and make preparations for Brahma to start the process of creation. My favorite was the rock cut 3-faced figure of Shiva. Hazy on the details, I do remember that the face to the right is the female face and the other two are male. There is another beautiful statue of Ardhnareshwar, i.e. Shiva in half male and half female form representing the union between Shiva and Shakti or man and woman.

The 3-faced figure of Shiva

Shiva doing the cosmic dance

I expected more of the caves, the rock cut figures were remarkable but I wish the government and authorities would do more to preserve and perhaps re-build some of the art that was lost to time, weather and other unknown anomalies. However, limited in their structure we cannot deny the staggering beauty the figures emit. To see them restored to their former glory would indeed be a privilege. We will perhaps never know why they were built but if we are to take proper care and conserve the beauty we can at least look back and admire the skill of the artisans who painstakingly carved them out of giant rocks in the middle of no where!

On another note, today is Diwali and tomorrow is the Hindu New Year. Wishing everyone a very happy and prosperous Diwali and a blissful New Year. I pray we can all get closer to understanding the mysteries of the universe this year and take ourselves nearer to finding the inner peace we often crave.

Happy Diwali!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

From the other side of the world

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I am here holidaying in India since last week. It is always nice to come here and see the family but when you get off the plane you cannot escape the heat. Bombay is famous for its October heat and this year is no different. Despite the unexpected respite of lashing rains last night, the city is boiling. Add to that the crazy traffic and endless caravan of people; you can't help feeling overwhelmed.

I must admit the first few days I spent here made me want to turn right back around and catch a return flight to New York. I didn't mind the ruthless 17 hour trip back in comparison to the chaos I was subjected to here. But as I finally started to settle down I began to see the familiar parts of the city and my family that I came for. My confused mind had cast a veil on my ability to see what was important and what I cherished. That veil, after some much deserved rest, was finally lifted.

What began as a family trip became a little bit more. Looking around the city, I saw so much that was created while I was away, the city I knew was not there anymore. Confusion and chaos always existed but there were several unfamiliar elements to this city that I was unable to identify with. And that invariably always brings up the question: where do I belong? I knew I was traveling down a slippery slope but I didn't heed my rational mind.

Its easy to ask tough questions but you may not like the answers. I am not sure I have found the answer to mine. I live in a city where I was not born, whose culture, attitudes and ways of life I have willingly adopted but ostensibly is not mine. On the other hand the city I was born and brought up in has become so unfamiliar, so different; I am unable to identify with it. I am not sure if I am willing to accept it either (not that it cares).

I am waging a familiar battle for most people who leave their city, country, family and friends to live in a different world. I left behind all that was precious to me to explore the unknown and see if there is a place out there that I can create and that can define me. Not sure so far if I have found it. But then again, isn't that the beauty of life?

Rupee from Mumbai, India.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Tolstoy & Karenina

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I’ve been on a reading freeze of sorts. Normally having books lined up, very little is interesting now. I really don’t know what I am in the mood for – action, romance, what? With a confused mind, I drifted in the library last week, looking for anything that would be exciting.
Came across Coehlo’s new book O Aleph but it was on a week express ride. Not to say I wouldn’t have been able to finish but I already owe the library $9.50 and if this book was late and I was fined again; after $10 you are not issued any books. So why not pay the fine, one would ask? Well…I don’t know. Someday I will; until then I hang at the $9.50 charge.
After much disinterested browsing, I stumbled upon the stack of books which display the OBC or Oprah’s Book Club books. By no means am I a follower but she has some interesting books and when devoid of ideas, it could be a good place to look. One of the first ones I saw was Say You’re One of Them. I diligently read these short stories when they were released; partly due to the praise they received and partly because of their origin. The fictional stories were written in Nigeria and talked about characters like us and the daily difficulties life threw at them. One was about 2 kids – who had to escape from being sold, another one about a family that had to escape a bloody riot. The subjects were good, but the writing was really dry and left me completely unimpressed. So you see, OBC is not completely dependable.
My eyes, however, fell on a great author whose work I’ve been meaning to read for a while – Leo Tolstoy. His Anna Karenina lay on the shelf inviting me to read. We’ve all heard about this classic but I didn’t know much about it so I decided to dive into the path less taken; especially since reading Fall of Giants; I’ve been completely mesmerized with Germany & Russia!
 It’s a story about a rich lady Anna Karenina, who according to people who view her is living the perfect life – a rich husband, good standing in society and a lovely boy – but falls haplessly in love with someone else. Along with the drama, the story promises to bring to light more about Russian history and politics, everything that appeals to me right now!
So far the story is still developing; Anna Karenina is visiting her husband and has met this man she is supposed to fall in love with. But right now, that man is busy wooing someone else; albeit he has already noticed Anna Karenina.
No impressions – good or bad – about the story yet but I am sure that will change soon. Let’s see if Anna destroys her life (because in those days when you stepped out of the line, that’s pretty much what happened) or resigns herself to her fate (which she doesn’t sound like at all). But I am refraining from any judgment, will wait for time to divulge her secrets to me!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

1000 novels everyone must read

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Came across an interesting list today on The Guardian about 1000 novels everyone must read. Now I don't know about reading every single book on that list but quite a few sound very appealing. Maybe I can go to this list on days when nothing appeals and I cannot decide what to read.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Fall of Giants

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This past week was excruciatingly slow so I took advantage of it and caught up on some reading. After finishing Eye of the Needle, I picked up the last Follett book not yet read – Fall of Giants. Over the past year, since its release I unsuccessfully tried reading the book a couple of times. The first time I lugged the 1000 page book half way around the world, the next time it just sat in my drawer. I was not motivated.
This time was different; I started it and raced through it within the week unable to put it down. First book of the century trilogy, Fall of Giants deals with several families and their attempts to survive during World War I. Ken Follett has a remarkable writing style which is further pronounced when he is narrating period pieces. It’s almost as if something in his writing changed and he adapted a new way of writing since Pillars of the Earth. To me all his books before Pillars have a different tone.
He talks of several characters scattered throughout the globe – aristocracy in England, mine workers in Wales, peasants in Russia, wealthy bureaucrats in Germany and nascent politicians in USA. Of course, you know at some point some if not all of the characters will meet each other and develop the story line further.
What struck me most about the story is the disparity between the rich and the poor. Much hasn’t changed since, but reading about the tyranny in Russia at the time of the tsar brought to mind a whole new reality. What history tells us is the tsar and the tsarita along with their children were mercilessly gunned down by revolutionaries. But history is not very kind, for it ignores to describe in detail the hardships that forced the common man to stand up and say “I’ve had enough!” When you are hanged for merely raising your voice against monarchy or gunned down because the tsar wants to dispel the crowd and lose your parent, child, sibling, reality becomes different. And all you were asking for is more bread or less squalid conditions. Is that really a crime? If a government cannot provide that basic need, what good is it? How are citizens supposed to survive when the harsh reality wakes them up at midnight to stand in line for a single loaf of bread that will run out before 5 am? What sort of existence is that?!
Post WWI, the story ends rather quickly but not before describing the harsh reality of what Germany had to endure. Much has been said and read about the reasons for WWI, some more real than others. Now I would not say Germany was not to blame but to think they triggered WWI, entirely on their own, would be extremely naïve. I always thought the terms meted out to them after the war were harsh but to think a loaf of bread cost 127 billion francs! I was not ready for that. Another case of history written only to exalt the winners. Imagine if Germany had won - how would have history been written then?
Then there is the cause of women – not being able to vote, cannot leave the home without an escort, constantly talked down to by their male counterparts – reminds me of the Taliban! You’d think the wars and the subsequent destruction would have taught us a thing or two, which I'm sure they have, but we still have a long way to go. Mankind is still scattered, fragmented, biased on gender, religion, even color of skin. We are all equal and a part of the whole. If only we all thought like John Donne.
'No Man is an Island'
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Fun reads

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After finishing Too Big to Fail, my brain was incapable of processing anymore intelligent material. So I resorted to my favorite type of go-to novels -- Thrillers! Over the course of a long overdue vacation and some sunny weeks in New York I finished reading 3-4 books, after which tiredness descended upon me and I abandoned reading for a while.
During the course of my non-stop tirade I did manage to uncover a new character that I quite enjoyed. Jack Reacher, a Lee Child creation. Like most women, I love reading about guys who are tougher than tough, can get out of any situation effortlessly and have razor sharp intellect. Jack Reacher meets all those qualities and then some. He is the tough guy’s tough guy. So on and on I went reading about him and then Google-d him. For those who’d like a mental picture of Reacher, think of Hugh Jackman in his latest Wolverine avatar…ahh…times 10. Well not so much, maybe 5, ok no 3. Yes, 3 is good.  So with this picture in my head I am Googling Jack Reacher and guess what I find? They are making a movie out of one of the books. Now, firstly, what is up with every book being turned into a movie? Most never live up to the books (think Angels & Demons and the biggest disaster Da Vinci Code) so why ruin a handsome book? But the other important criterion is who is playing Reacher. Before the next line think of that mental picture again. Now, go on. It’s Tom Cruise! TOM CRUISE?! TOM CRUISE?! The little cuddly mamma’s boy? The one who looked more beautiful in Top Gun than Kelly McGillis? That ruins that!
I think it was the uber disappointment of reading that which swore me off books for a few weeks but thank fully Ken Follett changed all that. My mother in law sent Eye of the Needle, a book based during WWII. So spies, soldiers, murders are all rampant! Die Nadel or the Needle is the spy the MI5 is trying to track down. Throw in a woman not loved by her husband marooned on a lonely island and all in all you get a good thriller. Apparently it debuted as Storm Island and they made a movie from it too. There you go again!
The pages are flying as are the lovely days of summer. I’ll wait for the weather to change before taxing my brain. For now, beach reads is the way to go!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Way to escape bondage

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I must share snippets of an article I kept re-reading yesterday. The sheer beauty and
magnificence of the words moved me to an alternate reality and brought me to a realization that we don't have to be bound by petty reactions/attitudes of bosses, co-workers or others who fail to realize the efforts we put in. Because in the end it is only the detached who is able to realize after all.

"The only way to escape the consequences of the acts is to adopt a detached attitude while one performs the acts.

This means one has to give up the sense of ownership (ego) as well as the fruits of actions. Renunciation means giving up not action but the fruits of action, says the Lord. Because of Avidya (ignorance) and lack of proper understanding, an individual gets confused about the agency of the action. An uncultivated mind sees things in the wrong light and does not realise the truth. His possessive attitude to the work makes it difficult for him to renounce the Karma and its fruits. But the realised soul is not possessive with the body and the senses and remains detached."

The complete article is here.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The comfort of home

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Some days the weather inspires you to write; others it doesn’t. Today is one such day. What is so special about today you ask? The sky is forlorn as if shedding tears over a love long lost. The weather is cold, reminding of what lies ahead; in the months to come. The gruesomeness of the bitter cold remembered by everyone as the weather slowly but surely turns to its old ways. But it is exactly this weather that has inspired me to pen something. I am reminded of a vacation I took a few months ago that now seems so far; so long ago. This weather also reminds me of home; the warm smell of tea boiling in a steel pot with lots of ginger and tea leaves with the sound of oil frying beside it where my mother is getting ready to add another onion fritter.
I often wonder what makes a home a home and it’s precisely this. Even if I am so far away, like a perfect picture I see the movements, smell the smells and hear the sounds. Despite the million noises shuttling through my over worked brain, the thought of home calms me down. Seeing my mother standing next to the stove in her familiar garb relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace which I so often crave.
Luckily I have that home far away from home; where my mother (in-law) putters around the kitchen, cooking up new smells. I am not yet completely familiar with all the smells, neither, I must admit, do I crave them but the ability to recall them and draw serenity from them is harmony.
Days like today carry their own indulgence as do sunny, warm days when the heart is singing along with the birds in the sky. Melancholy days like today are a reminder that despite the weather pulling my strings down sweet memories of my mothers brings a smile to my face.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Guest House

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A beautiful Rumi poem I received from my mother-in-law today.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks

Monday, August 15, 2011

Is this the end?

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Seeing all the upheaval in the stock markets, combined with meaningless rioting in London (I call them meaningless because to the best of my knowledge, no official cause was ever started), the fight against torturous regimes elsewhere – Libya, Syria, Egypt – a thought occurred to me. What if all this is somehow connected to Dec 21, 2012 the day touted to be as the end of humanity?
As the day draws nearer, people out of curiosity or fear or both will start reading more about it but over the years this is what I’ve gathered about the ultimate doomsday.
The Mayans were one the first to declare Dec 21, 2012 as the end of the world. Using their advanced knowledge of astronomy they constructed a highly evolved calendar that ends on 12/21/2012.  The Hopis and the Indians have similar calendars that show the world ends on the exact same date. They have predicted massive natural calamities and great upheaval to precede the end of the world.
There, however, is other literature too that claims the end of the world is not literal but an end in terms of the ideas, beliefs and attitudes that bind us. In short, Dec 21, 2012 is touted as also being end of business as usual and a rise in consciousness, a positive force that will take over the Earth and destroy these cataclysmic man-made scenarios. So that got me thinking, what if this is the beginning of the end? The end of the world as we know it, the end of politics, greed, hunger and power as we know it? What if the Earth rejuvenates itself and with it brings a fresh wave of life? Think of those next generation babies who will never know life as knew it, who will experience pure and unadulterated consciousness.
Really, like heaven on Earth!
P.S.: I dedicate this entry to India who today celebrates her 65th Independence Day! My homeland, from where today I’ve been away for 9 years has influenced me in more ways than I know. Jai Hind!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Man in the Arena

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During some sparce moments of clarity in an otherwise chaotic few years, Jamie Dimon (CEO of JP Morgan), sent Paulson a note quoting an excerpt of a very famous speech 'Citizen in  a Republic' by President Roosevelt.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

What is interesting is there is no mention of whether the hero succeded or failed. Its almost as if President Roosevelt didn't consider that to be the central notion of his argument. What mattered is the one who tries, no matter how many times he falls he gets up and tries again. That man who struggles, fearless of consequences, is ultimately better off than those thousands of men who never bothered to take a chance.

This brought to mind a passage from the Gita, where Krishna tells Arjun - do your duty and do it to the best of your ability. The consequence doesn't matter, what matters is the here and now. That's the way to salvation.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Too Big to Fail

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On the recommendation of a friend, I watched the HBO movie “Too Big to Fail”. All of us know something went down during the financial crisis (we were all affected in some way) but very few know what exactly occurred. The complexity of the financial system baffles even those who work in that sector, so what game are you and I?
To say that the movie is good is an understatement. It’s a revelation of how the economy works the effect of the falling dominoes, how the people we only hear of in papers and sometimes see on TV affect the very system that we are an integral part of. It not only explains succinctly what occurred but also the why. The gross mismanagement of companies, their endless tendencies towards risk and investing in securities and commodities they themselves knew very little about lends belief to the faith that they deserved what happened to them. But the movie also makes very clear why the government had to intervene – there was simply no other choice.  We have seen the scale of devastation that is taking place despite massive and timely government intervention. All of us know someone who lost their job and perhaps is still unemployed even though officially the recession ended in 2009. I shudder to imagine what would have happened had there been no help from the authorities. Timely injection of money into the system helped, as much as we don’t like to see tax payer money go down the tubes, I must say it helped.
However, at the offset, during the final stages of the Bush administration, the bank bailout of $125 billion was simply transferred to the executives. Despite a teetering economy, golden parachutes weren’t cut for senior executives on Wall Street, they still made massive amounts of money and the year of the bail out alone, executives made a whopping $135 billion in bonuses. So much for the stimulus!
I recommend everyone watch this movie, to better understand the intricacies of the financial system and of the nation’s politics. It’s a clear picture of how bad things can get if business as usual is allowed to continue and no one cares to even learn what they are investing in.
So all this talk about the movie got me so intrigued I started reading the book the movie is based on. The book, same name, Too Big to Fail, is written by Andrew Ross Sorkin, a reporter for the NY Times. It’s a Bible, a mammoth reading that lures you into its human style of characters. These executives, we only know their names, but Sorkin brings them to life. He describes their background and how they rose to their current positions. Then he starts to talk about the downfall. So far, I’ve read about Bernanke, Paulson, Dimon (Chase), Fuld (Lehman) Geithner and realized that the one thing common to all of them is ambition and the desire to succeed. They set off to change the world without even knowing they were doing so, simply following their instinct to achieve. Some, as history now shows us, were more successful than others but most rose from humble beginnings.
The story has renewed motivation in me. It’s reminding me that regardless of where you come from, if you want to leave your mark on this world, you can! You simply need the desire. Anyone can be successful, if you dare to.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Tale of a genuis

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Last week I was disdained by the amount of words and needless descriptions the author used in the tale. This week, the story remarkably picked up and became a non-stop read. The descriptions and the lucidty of the story, along with the seemingly endless sentences in typical British style were endearing.

What was also interesting was the story; which does not differ much from the real version of events. So Ramanujan was a poor man living in South India with an uncanny penchant for mathematics. He was awarded numerous scholarships but they were usually taken away because he couldn't be bothered with any other subject. While in India, he wrote countless theorems, without any formal training in the subject, an achievement he attributed to a local Goddess.

He then decides to write to 3 Professors in Britain (this was during pre-independence), one of whom identifies his sheer talent and brings Ramanujan to the UK. This Professor is Hardy, one of the greatest mathematicians of that era, perhaps in the same league as Isaac Newton.

Ramanujan comes to England, makes many more break throughs, as a result of which countless awards are bestowed on him. He becomes the youngest fellow of the FRS (at 29), a feat that no one until today has topped. FRS is Fellow of the Royal Society.

This mathematician however is extremely religious and from the sounds of it a picky eater. With time he is severally malnutritioned and as a result of World War I cannot gain access to the vegetables, etc. he needs to sustain himself. So he becomes ill, very ill and is constantly in and out of hospitals. Finally he decides, after the war, to return to India where at the age of 32 he passes away. This is what the book tells us.

I wiki Ramanujan and find the exact same version, but my guess is the author chose to call it fiction because he inserts certain dialogues and instances that cannot be independently verified.

Here comes the mind boggling part -- this harmless young man with absolutely no formal training in mathematics growing up, conjured the greatest discoveries in the field. People who are not trained in mathematics may not understand the importance of these feats but consider this -- mathematicians themselves are only just beginning to fathom the breadth of his work! A man way ahead of his times, it is said his formulae might explain String theory; considered to be the unified theory of everything, as well as multiple dimensions, wormholes, levitation and so much more!

Indeed a sad end to great talent!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Dreams

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What are they? Are they as some people say a manifestation of the sub conscious or are they messages from a space we haven’t yet deciphered? Last week I mentioned I’ve been having some crazy dreams. I mentioned this to a friend who said she was happy for me because they constituted some sort of a release. Are they a release? Or are they giving me an opportunity to view something that I wouldn’t experience otherwise? It’s hard to tell and that primarily stems from our very limited knowledge of our brain. We could call dreams whatever and define them to mean an assortment of things but the truth is we really don’t know.
The same friend I was talking to about dream as a release jokingly told me she has lost her creativity in her dreams, i.e. she isn’t dreaming. No sooner did she say that she was blown away this past weekend when she and her mother had the same dream. How does something like that happen? Two people having the same dream? Those of us who have read The Stand might say it’s a precursor of things to come. Or skeptics might call it a coincidence. Believe it or not, I don’t think there are coincidences in this world. Everything we see, experience and derive meaning from was meant to be.
Are dreams traveling from a plane we don’t yet understand? Are they a sign of our evolvement or how much more we have to go? And what about those dreams that come true? No I don’t mean I dreamt of being a senior executive at a big company and with hard work I got there. No, not that. I mean a real dream that few days later was confirmed as real. How does that happen?
For the past few weeks I am trying to understand what power, if any, is giving us charge to manifest our fears in our dreams. Or perhaps the power that is giving us little control over what is going to happen by letting us view in our dreams the reality about to unfold. Are becoming psychic? Perhaps in this world where all is going to hell, the higher power is giving us control to awaken our consciousness by giving us glimpses of things to come.
I am not questioning that which is and I know sometimes there is no need to even understand it. It is enough knowledge that something is occurring and as always exists to solve a higher, deeper purpose. My dreams are showing me the world in a way that I didn’t know I could see. They are opening my eyes to realms that exist deep within me, albeit quiet all along. Something inside has tuned in with the universe, how much ever it astonishes me, I am humming along.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Disdain

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Why do English writers go on & on & on & on? I get that its their language and their general comfort level with the script and its usage is high than the rest of us; to whom they introduced their beloved tongue, but does that mean they should get lost in their own words? I often come across this, where I believe, usually an English writer gives out waaaaay too many details about things that do not matter. There are exceptions, of course but a lot of them talk about trivialties in such a way; you forget the point they were really making and the story you are actually reading.

This trend was alright back in the day when writers like Tolstoy and Dostoevsky rambled on for centuries because they were being paid per word. Now-a-days, its archaic. Get to the point! And get to it fast. Resorting to such feeble attempts to fill in pages isn't lending credibility to your writing skills. Crisp writing is.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Nothing & Everything

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Do you know the feeling when you feel overwhelmed but under challenged? When all things have become a part of you yet you feel distant? When your thoughts are consuming you yet you are managing to keep away from them? When you can’t find solace in your waking life but your dreams are able to provide answers?
If you do then you know how I feel. It’s a mixture of feelings where I am daring myself to go beyond and being drawn to the mystical at the same times I couldn’t be less bothered with stimulating the intellect. One of the reasons I was away for a while. The other, I was working.
I’ve been having some pretty crazy dreams and I wait to every night to see what I’d dream next. It seems that my sleeping life holds more excitement than my waking one. It is almost as if I turn to my bed in hopes of finding answers or some clues to mysteries my brain on coffee can’t seem to crack.
Tumultuous emotional days add to the overall chagrin (I use it for complete lack of a better word. I don’t curse the dictionary for lack of words simply my waking mind for my inability to express the emotion)! Past few days an intense feeling held me in its gaze, an awakening sort of aura resided around me. Today, I can’t seem to find it. Maybe it’s on a hiatus.
In this sort of world, I cannot turn to any reading that would make me feel relaxed and at ease. I don’t know if my feeling is of unease so it wouldn’t be appropriate to classify it one way or another. I guess the best way to look at it would be to say – right now I just am. I am watching, feeling and moving with this ebb and flow of a rainbow of sentiments, all bringing with them their disdain, indifference or excitement. I reel with them.
Anyway, back to reading so I started The Indian Clerk, don’t know how far I will get with it but that’s me being for now. The fiction tale is loosely centered on a real life character Ramanujan, an illiterate from India but a math genius. It’s the story of how his mentor discovers him and gives him flight. The real Ramanujan died very young but let’s see where this tale takes us.
For now, I am headed back to sit within myself and take a whim or fancy towards something undefined, something challenging, boring or simply something that just is.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Stopped to smell the roses, literally!

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Seeing that its a Friday before the long weekend and the weather has been picture perfect, this morning I was strolling to work. Just outside the condo, at the entrance, there are 3 rose bushes which have been making my morning beautiful with their fragrance each time I pass by. This morning we stopped to take some pictures, what a beautiful sight!



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

What is our true nature?

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The book I’m reading advocates doing things without thought, just plunging into action. The protagonist starts to dance without paying regard to the tunes; her teacher starts to knit in bad ways. Why? Because it’s when you deviate from your normal path do you find who you really are. So, that got me thinking. Should I write badly? I take writing in the same vocation that these guys take dancing or knitting. Would something/someone decide to give me voice and speak of my dreams to me? Would it help me realize my inhibitions in not going down the road I should travel? Will someone show me how to set myself free and traverse the blue skies in happiness? Will my search of elements to placate the emptiness in my soul end?
Too many cooks spoil the broth or in my case too much thinking kills the fun. Rationality is a quality I possess in abundance and come what may I am sometimes at the unkind mercy of twisting and twirling every detail until it matches my practical eye. While in most cases this sort of analyzing helps me, it is also hindering me realize my true nature, because deny it as much there is another side to me. A free spirit who can roam without cares and do things that make the soul happy. Don’t you think we all have that?
I have a friend who dares to live this way, against the norm without regard for what tomorrow will bring. She unknowingly teaches me a lesson or two about the importance of just being. Logic is important but not so much as to overwhelm you and take the joy out of living. She lives her life just that way. By being. Not by creating a furor over things she considers are wrong but neither by resigning herself over it. In calm, soothing style and ways that you and I wouldn’t even think of she exudes her opinions or simply be’s.  
We might be quick to ask if she has any responsibility. No I say but is that really an excuse? If we decide to take the road less traveled and our loved ones fail to understand how essential the walk is to our development and realization, what worth is the love we share? I don’t want to sound preachy or tell anyone what to do. I guess the battle for me is to look for that tiny door lying somewhere in my soul and somehow slither in there to find for myself what lies behind it. Speculation is easy, action is hard. Advice is easy to impart, acting on that advice is much more difficult.
People tell me all the time, I see a lot of potential in you, why don’t you do something about it? In all honesty, I don’t know. Do I trust myself to do the things that I want to? Absolutely. Do I believe I have the courage, conviction, strength of character? I do not for a moment doubt it. Then what is it? What sort of fear underlies and triumphs all the other positive energy radiating around me? I fail to grasp.
I am not here analyzing myself, in fact I have truly decided to desist from that favorite past time. I look to the future but by being in the present. I have stopped asking the heavens for assistance and just looking at life on a day-to-day basis. Questions in my rational mind will always persist. I am simply trying not to answer them.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Mesmerizing

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When you read tales such as The Red Tent it reminds you why women are so important to this world. It is a story that connects to every woman at some level because at some point in our lives be it as a daughter, mother, wife or a worker we’ve experienced gender related injustice. And most times, we have suffered through it; put on a brave face and lived the day until we are in the quiet corner of our bed where we shed a tear or two to express our helplessness.
Over the years, I’ve had my share of close friends but my pillow was my greatest comfort and as a child I often hugged to it and cried on it while it reassured me that everything would be OK. It sang me a lullaby and cradled me to sleep. We women are uncanny; we derive strength and the power to keep going from unnatural sources. I shudder to think what the world would be without us. Not just from a procreating point of view but because we add the zing to life. We make sure our men develop character, steadfastly supporting them but not once hesitating to chastise them if they are in the wrong.
I really don’t know where I am going with this but this book stirred the woman in me. Adapted from the book of Genesis, The Red Tent tells the story of Dinah with a twist. According to the real version of events, Dinah was assumed raped by her brothers and they went and killed her rapist and essentially destroyed her life with it; to save the family honor. Sound familiar? In those times, a woman raped was looked down and considered an abomination (I pause to think not much has changed) and no one would want her. So Dinah had to live her life in a lot of hatred, although Job later married her.
In the book, she fights for her choices; she fights to find love and peace. She is a modern woman, who has inherited her share of injustice but doesn’t mourn them instead faces them head on. She doesn’t give up her right to live and ploughs through regardless of her father barely remembering her at the time of his death and choosing to bless his sons over the haunted memory of his daughter. That got me thinking, why? Why do we usually do that? Why do we fail to give voice to those we love who have suffered? And the answer probably is because that highlights our weaknesses. In not admitting her, Jacob was inherently not admitting the mistakes he made as a father. He chose to remember the good sons and forget all about the one daughter whose life he had failed to protect and nurture. His greedy sons put their needs before hers (as most men do) and sacrificed the honor of their only sister so they could be “safe”. They sold Joseph so they could inherit their father’s blessings. And all this for what? Earthly possessions? A materialistic life? Sadly, we still haven’t learned any better.
The Red Tent captures you, shows you that despite the gruesome things we women have seen in our lives, we still find reason to rejoice. We suffer the monthly curse but we take pride in being a woman, we suffer the unbearable pain of childbirth but we rejoice at the first sight of the child who caused us so much suffering. We are a proud folk and no matter how hard men and society try to put us down, we will always come back up stronger.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Coincidences or much more?

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I was very young when I realized everything in this universe happens for a reason. Reason is the logic that keeps everything around us churning. Time and again we call it coincidences because we are too oblivious, unaware, wrapped up in our own lives to realize how things are interconnected. How sometimes things that seem to disappoint at first actually turn out to protect us and prevent chaos in our lives and in lives of those who care about us. We dismiss instances thinking how they could possibly be connected, not realizing that we are only showing our deep ignorance. In the end whether we agree or not, our lives are the results of a scheme, a plot perhaps a romantic play or an exciting ballad that is run by someone/something. Call it fate, destiny we simply have to sit through the entire reel to truly understand its meaning.
 Over the years, I have been lucky enough to catch glimpses of seemingly innocuous occurrences and been able to connect the dots. Case in point, this week my husband and I were to go on vacation to Europe. Due to some circumstances outside of our control we were unable to travel but did not realize this until the last moment. Utterly disappointed, we made our way back home in stone cold silence. Needless to say coming back to work instead of gallivanting in Europe was brutal. Mentally, we were on that ship, sailing in the calm waters of the Mediterranean Sea which now had an empty cabin with our names on it. Fate had different plans and we were absolutely resigned to it!
This morning I came to work with a few emails sitting in my inbox from my mother in law. Apparently there had been some earthquakes that killed a few people, injured several more and destroyed a lot of buildings in and around the Mediterranean Sea region where my husband and I were supposed to be cruising. Need I say more? Further, I also found an article prophecizing about a massive earthquake in Rome on May 11, the exact day we were supposed to be there. Now I am not a stern believer of prophecies but many residents of Rome were leaving the city for the day not wanting to take any chances with their lives.
As much as I don’t question these occurrences, they still manage to blow me away.  Their explanation doesn’t fit into my mind, bound by reason and logic. But perhaps, that is my mistake. Instead of trying to decipher them, I should release them as unknown anomalies, as grateful reminders that this life is much more than I know and will ever know. No matter how hard I try, there is a path carved for me and no matter how much I want to deviate from it, the road will turn with me. I have to walk it to know where it takes me and how it ends.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Coincidences or much more?

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I was very young when I realized everything in this universe happens for a reason. Reason is the logic that keeps everything around us churning. Time and again we call it coincidences because we are too oblivious, unaware, wrapped up in our own lives to realize how things are interconnected. How sometimes things that seem to disappoint at first actually turn out to protect us and prevent chaos in our lives and in lives of those who care about us. We dismiss instances thinking how could it possibly be connected, not realizing that we are only showing our deep ignorance. In the end whether we agree or not, our lives are the results of a scheme, a plot perhaps a romantic play or an exciting ballad that is run by someone/something. Call it fate, destiny we simply have to sit through the entire reel to truly understand its meaning.

Over the years, I have been lucky enough to catch glimpses of seemingly innocuous occurrences and been able to connect the dots. Case in point, this week my husband and I were to go on vacation to Europe. Due to some circumstances outside of our control we were unable to travel but did not realize this until the last moment. Utterly disappointed, we made our way back home in stone cold silence. Needless to say coming back to work instead of gallivanting in Europe was brutal. Mentally, we were on that ship, sailing in the calm waters of the Mediterranean Sea which now had an empty cabin with our names on it. Fate had different plans and we were absolutely resigned to it!
This morning I came to work with a few emails sitting in my inbox from my mother in law. Apparently there had been some earthquakes that killed a few people, injured several more and destroyed a lot of buildings in and around the Mediterranean Sea region where my husband and I were supposed to be cruising. Need I say more? Further, I also found an article prophecizing about a massive earthquake in Rome on May 11, the exact day we were supposed to be there. Now I am not a stern believer of prophecies but many residents of Rome were leaving the city for the day not wanting to take any chances with their lives.
As much as I don’t question these occurrences, they still manage to blow me away.  Their explanation doesn’t fit into my mind, bound by reason and logic. But perhaps, that is my mistake. Instead of trying to decipher them, I should release them as unknown anomalies, as grateful reminders that this life is much more than I know and will ever know. No matter how hard I try, there is a path carved for me and no matter how much I want to deviate from it, the road will turn with me. I have to walk it to know where it takes me and how it ends.