From the other side of the world

I am here holidaying in India since last week. It is always nice to come here and see the family but when you get off the plane you cannot escape the heat. Bombay is famous for its October heat and this year is no different. Despite the unexpected respite of lashing rains last night, the city is boiling. Add to that the crazy traffic and endless caravan of people; you can't help feeling overwhelmed.

I must admit the first few days I spent here made me want to turn right back around and catch a return flight to New York. I didn't mind the ruthless 17 hour trip back in comparison to the chaos I was subjected to here. But as I finally started to settle down I began to see the familiar parts of the city and my family that I came for. My confused mind had cast a veil on my ability to see what was important and what I cherished. That veil, after some much deserved rest, was finally lifted.

What began as a family trip became a little bit more. Looking around the city, I saw so much that was created while I was away, the city I knew was not there anymore. Confusion and chaos always existed but there were several unfamiliar elements to this city that I was unable to identify with. And that invariably always brings up the question: where do I belong? I knew I was traveling down a slippery slope but I didn't heed my rational mind.

Its easy to ask tough questions but you may not like the answers. I am not sure I have found the answer to mine. I live in a city where I was not born, whose culture, attitudes and ways of life I have willingly adopted but ostensibly is not mine. On the other hand the city I was born and brought up in has become so unfamiliar, so different; I am unable to identify with it. I am not sure if I am willing to accept it either (not that it cares).

I am waging a familiar battle for most people who leave their city, country, family and friends to live in a different world. I left behind all that was precious to me to explore the unknown and see if there is a place out there that I can create and that can define me. Not sure so far if I have found it. But then again, isn't that the beauty of life?

Rupee from Mumbai, India.