Yesterday there was some discussion about the plight of women in India. From my post, we saw how women are still subdued in spite of progress in all other areas in the country. My comment about women being burnt got me thinking about Sati and the state of widows today.
Not everyone probably knows the meaning of Sati, so let’s start with a small history lesson. In ancient India, women were treated at par or better than men. Women could choose their own mate, make their voice heard in the Government/kingdom, obtain equal share from their paternal property and enjoy other rights hitherto taken away from them. In that sense, ancient India was more progressive than modern India. As time went by scriptures and religious connotations began to be twisted to suit men’s whim and fancy and the concept of Sati was introduced. Accordingly, if a woman’s husband died, she no longer had the right to live. So she had to jump into the burning pyre where her husband’s body was being cremated. Yes, you read that right, she had to push herself to her own death! Various reasons were quoted for this – she couldn’t live alone, other men would take advantage of her, blah blah blah – but the simple unrefined truth is she was burnt so she couldn’t claim her deceased husband’s property.
Time went by and eventually after many years the practice stopped, although I still wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere in the deep recesses of the country an odd case popped up.
So you’d think that their situation now is better, right? Wrong! True, they no longer are to commit suicide for the man they “loved” but now live a life of misery. Surviving family members usually refuse to take care of the widow (remember from yesterday, she is considered bad luck) and is cast off from the home. Certain centres do take them in but the population is so large that basic caring facilities are almost non-existent. There are however, couple such cities where all the widows flock to – Vrindavan and Mathura. These were birth place and playing ground of Krishna, the much revered deity in Hinduism. These widows are told to go there and spend a life in prayer, so it is no surprise that an already fragile city is now overburdened with throngs of widows on its streets. Lack of facilities to take care of the needy means these women end up on the street, usually with no food to eat for days and being ill-treated by passersby.
The ones fortunate enough to find a roof to rest their heads are no better. These shelters or ashrams as they are called are rife with prostitution and sexual abuse. In many cases, ashrams encourage young women to sleep with wealthy donors in hopes of cashing in on their misfortunes. Deepa Mehta’s Water was a fictional but very true attempt at showing the going-ons at these institutions.
The Government can always be blamed because they don’t do enough, they don’t provide enough facilities, there aren’t enough shelters... But who is primarily responsible for such attitudes? That would be you and me. If more people would open their eyes, regard a widow as no less than a human being, our problems are half-solved. So what if she doesn’t have a husband? Why does the identity of a woman start and end with a man? Whatever happened to the scriptures and the religion preaching to honour the mother, the woman!? More than half goddesses in India are female – what kind of contradictory worship is that?
It is always easy to discard responsibility and go the easy way – women for generations in India have fallen mercy to this practice. But that time is gone. If we want a better nation, a better world we need to take action. And that starts with remodeling our attitudes because it's us who needs to change, not the widows. No, not them.
Posts
2 Response to The silent sufferers
Man usually dies earlier than his female partner. Usually. They died because they laboured harder than the female who would be keeping the home fires burning. times have changed and the female is labouring as hard as her male partner(remember our choice- equality) but the role at home is not equal the female still tends to what is called the female role, tending the children, a hot meal on the table, laundry etc. My generation is stuck in that role. The male of the younger generation rtecognizes this and now sharing the domestic chores.
I've noticed the much younger female(teenagers)are being really aggressive and are giving up their femininity. to be equal does not mean losing the respect from the male in simple things as pulling out a chair, holding a door, calling for you at home to go on a date and general showing of respect.
My husband thinks I'm superwoman. Not a good thing.
I think its a great thing that your husband thinks you are a superwoman. No equality does not mean the woman has to give up on the basic tenets of being treated nicely. Those things show respect, so giving them up would be wrong. We, women do certain things for a man out of respect and we don't expect them to give up those expectations to be treated equally now, do we?
It is terrible, in my opinion, that society has pushed a woman to want to give up her feminity to be treated equally. Being aggressive is good, but society miscontrues that too. A man who is aggressive is called "career oriented". An aggressive woman is called a "bitch". Times have changed but there is a LONG way to go. Progress isn't happening fast enough. And the women I speak of above are so far away from any of these things. Society crushes their survival and self-respect. I am really not proud to come from such a system.
Post a Comment