Pleas from a night past

Think of all that time being wasted when I could utilize it doing wonderful things like reading feasts of goats and years of solitude. Alas! I must endure another test the universe throws at me. In a usual cycle of a slight accumulation of frustration I took to venting to my mother-in-law who said something philosophically beautiful and profoundly simple. “Be patient. Perhaps you need to develop patience for the task you are to be given.” At some level I think I knew that but hearing it from someone else jolted me to reality.

But then I also started thinking, what if my purpose is what is going on right now? I know I’ve talked about this before but what if in this life time my purpose was simply this? This meaning, to learn patience. So should I simply resign myself to my fate and live life without any ambition or should I still try to get to where I would like to be?

Krishna, an incarnation of Vishnu, part of the Holy Trinity of Indian culture said don’t worry about what should be. You can attain nirvana in what you are; no matter what life throws at you it is possible to reach salvation. Preaching to Arjun on the battlefield while reciting the Bhagavad Gita he said do your duty and don’t worry about the outcome. As a warrior it’s your duty to fight and kill. You will be held in the wrong if you don’t. If you do your duty promptly you will attain me. This, the practice of karma yoga, states to reach salvation by performing your duty in the highest regard. So if I were to apply Krishna’s teaching to my present situation, it would mean I keep doing what I am and regardless of whether I’m able to find something more fulfilling I have a shot at the glory of the soul.

Easier said than done, right? I wrote some verses correctly reflecting my state of mind. If I am to be stuck in this, yes, I need the universe to fill my reservoir with courage and of course patience.

Pleas from a night past

Oct 13, 2010

10.03 am

Last night I sat atop my bed

With my legs folded

And eyes closed

A mantram reverberating

Within my soul

Beginning a search for the

Path to the obscure land

Last night I sat atop my bed

With my hands in prayer position

And soul seeking redemption

Beseeching the might

That resides in us all

To show me the way

There are two possible paths

I argued with my self

Either grant me prosperity

And fulfillment of a better position

Or show me realization

Within my existing obligations

If my purpose is to serve

Why am I trapped within

Attitudes of profit

If my purpose is to learn

Endow me with strength

To climb that gargantuan mountain

Feeling resigned to emptiness

I opened my eyes

And hoped in the vastness of things

My pleas from a night past

Were loud enough