The evergreen treasures

You are your deepest driving desire

As is your desire, so is your will

As is your will, so is your deed

As is your deed, so is your destiny. 

--Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

The meaning of everyone's life is succinctly explained by the verses above. With remarkable grace they highlight the importance of choice and how we ourselves are creators of our destiny. Desire leads to will, which in turn leads to deed at last forming our destiny.

The Upanishads were one of the earliest texts produced in India after the Vedas. While the Vedas propound the external forces, i.e. the elements of nature; the quest of the Upanishads is to drive one towards one’s own self. It advocates the practice of looking within to find bliss and immortality. 

Over the years I’ve read them several times but with each reading something hitherto undiscovered has emerged. A shining gem reveals itself every time I walk on the path of the Upanishads making me rely on them, along with the Gita, to find solace and solitude every time my heart so desires or when I feel wobbly. 

Who wrote them or when is unknown. Several thousands of Upanishads were written and subsequently lost without being properly documented. The authors’ main purpose was not glory; consequently they preferred to remain anonymous. The only intention was to spread the teaching and their experiences of attaining the supreme goal, Brahman. Brahman is the universal Spirit, the one Supreme that pioneers the universe and governs us all. It is all pervading and cannot be seen, heard or touched but its nature can only be realized through the development of the self.  The relationship between Brahman and Atman is that of a one and a whole; the Atman representing the Brahman at an individual level but never distinct or separate from it. We human beings simply need to realize this eternal truth; we are one with the supreme, the Atman being an individual’s gateway to the Brahman. This, otherwise abstruse reality,  is the central idea of the Upanishads delivered through various tales.  

Over the next several weeks, I will share snippets of this book’s awesome power and learning. Hopefully, it will once again succeed in surprising me with a new lesson; a new truth I can accept and perhaps integrate into my reality. 

OM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI

Back after a long hiatus

For the longest time in my life I did not want to be a mother. I thought it was overrated, not for me and kids in general did not appeal to me. I was not one of those girls who grew up always dreaming about their prince charming and planning their wedding. I thought, I had far greater things in life to do. Building a better life was one of them and so my waking life was usually packed with trying to realize my dream of living in the US. 

Then I landed here, in New York where a regional jet flew me to Pittsburgh and then on to Clarion where I had my first reverse cultural shock. I didn’t know where I had landed and why I was there. This is not the life I had dreamt of, however, eventually with some cherished friends along the way, I managed to survive. I still did not want kids. 

With a degree in hand, I came to New York to realize my dream of getting a Ph.D. and becoming a corporate superstar. A couple of years of working and I began to understand myself. I was not ever going to be a corporate superstar. What you saw was what you got with me and there was certainly no desire to ever play politics, involve in dirty games and mangle someone else's dreams to achieve my reality. Very soon my dreams began to change. I was captivated with the desire to do some good in the world. Work at a non-profit like the U.N. Kids still did not show on my radar. 

Then in the middle of this what-career-I-want-crisis I fell in love. It was magical because it was reciprocated in the same way. I met my husband and he showed me what life meant. His arrival changed a lot in my life, for the better. I became someone who understood love for what it truly is – no drama, no fuss. We started living with each other – our hopes unified our lives one. There was still no place for children. 

Few years passed and we got married. We talked about kids but I was not sure about it. I truly believed the universe had forgotten to pass along a maternal gene. I thought I was incapable of caring for someone so small. I didn’t know what I would do with it and being responsible for someone to that extent, frankly freaked me out. So the conversation ebbed and flowed but kids were nowhere around. 

Then one day, my clock struck twelve. I started thinking of kids and with some planning and some vacationing I got pregnant. 10 months later, a miracle took place in my life. I fell in love again. This time, my love showed me what I was missing. She showed me how misguided my ambitions were. She not only brought to me my maternal instinct, that I thought was nonexistent, but also showed me how desperate I was to use it. I was born again, this time as a mother. 

I’ve been MIA for the past few months only because I am living the biggest dream I didn’t even have! I thank my daughter for fulfilling me and the universe in bringing me this terrific experience, something I will always cherish. My life is now filled with laughter, giggles, diapers, milk and burps. I never knew boring conversations such as “which diaper size fits her right” or “she is wearing her 6 month outfit already!” could be so interesting. Now, it seems, life would be incomplete without them. 


And of course, life would be incomplete without her, my Sophie, my darling daughter, my biggest achievement and my brightest star! The desire to do good in my has not died but the only person it now wants to benefit is myself. If I can impart some knowledge that helps make her a better person and live a better life, one that is not just about self gain, but in harmony with the environment I will consider myself a success. The rest is up to the universe and I give myself and Sophie to that force that eventually governs us all. 

The explosive Goldman post

I guess the talk of the town today is Greg Smith and his explosive op-ed on why he is leaving Goldman after an entire career of working there. He says he is leaving because he can no longer say the firm puts clients interest ahead of theirs. He says it has become a toxic company where making money by hook or crook is the most important and not looking out for your clients. How is it possible, he questions, that a company can survive such an attitude in the long run? If your clients don't trust you, no matter how smart you are, in the end you will have no business.

I applaud the man's guts - I don't know whether he is right or wrong in his assessment of the company but he's got some balls coming out and saying all the things he has. The company, of course, quickly refuted his claims saying they would never lose sight of their vision which ultimately is their clients, blah blah blah. Basically the idea here will be to portray Mr. Smith an aggrieved employee which would then justify his nonsensical rant.

But deep down inside we all know its not nonsensical. Despite being one of the top firms on Wall Street, we expect this level of culture associated with it. I mean, how else can you make surplus profits year after year when the economy is going down the tubes? I am not cynical, but this is probably a fair question - how many companies today have a culture that looks out for their clients? How many companies are not OBSESSED with only making money and who cares what happens to the clients mentality? I bet there are a handful, if at all.

I am sure on an ongoing, if not daily basis, we see this mentality at work with our companies - where everyday we come across decisions that are made only to fill the pockets of the CEOs and other C class executives and the plights of the clients are ignored. Heck, the plight of you and me is ignored. I agree with Mr. Smith that in the end you will not have business if you do not have your clients trust, but I also believe that in the end there will be no company if they do not care for their employees as well. While we understand the bottom line is important, an individual employee's bottom line is important as well. In the name of saving money, how many times have you not received a raise, commissions, bonus or anything else that was rightfully yours? And where do you think this money ends up? Not back into the business but with greedy owners who cannot part with one freaking cent!

In the name of bad economy, companies have continued to exploit their workforce, where the work load goes up by 2-3 times and companies continue to become lean. And since they have become so efficient at that, say good bye to any new employee or help that might help lighten that load.

While companies do need to change their attitude towards their clients, it is also imperative that companies change their mind set towards those who work for them. It cannot all come down to money in the end, I refuse to subscribe to it. Agreed money is important, very important but isn't conscience the most important?

Girl engagement or prostitution

BBC did a picture essay today on Mass wedding in India 'prostitute village'. This article show cases how in a small town in the state of Gujarat, India daughters of sex workers are being married off to prevent them from being pushed into prostitution. Several girls, 18 and over, got married at this mass event with many under 18 getting engaged. Some of these under 18 girls look no older than 5-6 years. The organization that put together the event says, once the girl is engaged she cannot be pushed into prostitution, which ultimately gives her a better life.

I don't know whether I should feel happy or sad on reading this. What kind of society is this that leaves only two options on the table for the girl child - marriage or prostitution? I am appalled to see that the only escape the daughters of these sex workers have from becoming a prostitute themselves is to get married as soon as they turn 18. What happened to free will and choice? I guess, those words haven't reached this town yet.

While the girl will be saved from a life time of agony, disease, humiliation and what not, what will she be subject to? Raising children from 18 to 35+ years of age, cooking, cleaning and if she is really unlucky perhaps domestic violence. Are these alternatives really alternatives? I know its a start but I am at a loss of words to understand the mentality of people who do not think their women are good enough to do anything else. Sell sex and have illegitimate children or have sex for legitimate children.

In a land where Goddess are worshipped and feared, this cavalier attitude towards women is evident of how far off from its scriptures and traditions the country has passed. India was once considered a glorious nation that treated its inhabitants - both male & female - equally. Over the years, these ideas have eroded and been replaced by selfish individuals who for the sake of power over the masses or over the family will go to any lengths. An indeed sad state of affairs!

Nothing new to read

For a while now I have been unsuccessfully sifting through books, picking up one here, another there but nothing motivates me to finish them. I attribute this to two main reasons - 1. work is keeping me busy so by the end of the day when I am on the bus, my mind wants nothing but mindless Bollywood videos or to graze in the distant future and 2. impending motherhood has me on the edge. Nothing but sighing to the baby's movements, muttering to it and visualizing the big day is on my mind. And with just a month to go, I am happy to say it will be off my mind soon, but then the next stage will bring with it a set of challenges and thoughts, I am sure.

Yesterday was Women's Day. I don't believe in having days for things -- I understand they stand to serve a purpose but I still don't believe in them. Why not treat every day as Women's Day? Why do you need a special day to make a big deal of the transgressions and sufferings that women here, there and everywhere go through in order to survive? I was just reading a post on a blog that talked about corruption as it relates to women - apparently in Cambodia women have to pay a bribe to the cops in order to have their rape investigated. Special days like these, I know, highlight the extreme plight and conditions women have to put up with but in my humble opinion these news should be hitting the headlines every day, regardless of whether March 8 or March 9.

Becoming a mother is a blessing they say, while time will prove or disprove this in my case, I do agree that being a woman is a blessing. When I was younger, oft times I hated the fact that I was a woman. This meant I had to suffer the monthly curse, which brought with it a lot of discomfort and pain. It also meant that I had to be the victim of biased standards; while my brother got to go out and hang out with his friends, because I was a girl, I was limited for fear of what might happen to me. Some of this fear also was a fear of society. Growing up in India, regardless of what someone told you, everyone cared about what others thought of them. So a girl from a decent family, out of the house past 8pm, was quickly labeled fast and inappropriate for other well-behaved girls to hang out with. Unfortunately, this attitude still prevails and is extremely dominant in most middle class families.

While I do not deny that sexual violence is abysmal and the perpetrators should be brought to justice in any situation and any country, I often wonder what about the girls/women who live in these close minded societies? Think they are not subject to violence? Think again. Unfortunately in their case their abuse is being perpetrated, in most cases, by their parents who stop them from doing simple tasks like growing their hair out, or cutting it a certain way. They are subject to violence if they are found dating someone, if they annoy their parents or if they simply choose to do something to please themselves. What about these girls? In the name of having the "perfect girl" that can be heralded all around town when she grows up, what most parents get is a stunted woman, unable and often fearful to express her ideas and thoughts for fear of repercussions at their parents' hands. In most cases this cycle continues, only difference now is the parent is easily replaced by the husband. Some, and I am so grateful to the universe to be one of them, successfully escape and after much hard work can rotate their life around. Most are not so lucky and the life style becomes so accepted, they simply learn to live with it.

There are a lot of issues around women - while the big ones rightfully get a lot of attention, if we make women stronger at the onset perhaps, just perhaps, we would be able to get a lot further in fighting crime and ensuring justice prevails. Just a thought.

Take a Leap

Once every four years we get an extra day. The year that normally ends with 365 days in 2012 will end with 366 days. This year we are leaping. In every other month, the 29th day is just another day that passes without any adulation but perhaps because it happens only once every 4 years, February 29 gets special attention. We think of all the strange things that could happen on this day - a birthday, women proposing marriage, getting married or any other dramatic ideas that erstwhile escape our imagination.

Today BBC has a 10 things about February 29 that I thought was interesting. So to celebrate the elusiveness of today, here they are.

King of Secrets

For a while work has kept me busy but this morning I got the time to visit one of my favorite sections of The Hindu, an Indian newspaper. The first article I clicked on immediately caught my attention with its opening sentence. Not only did it apply to my busy schedule over the past couple of days but it calmly help put things in perspective.

"During the brief life span of individuals, the natural tendency in many is to make a mark in life and strive for a career that would enable one to lead a comfortable life of prosperity. These pursuits take up a huge chunk of time and many bypass the chance to explore the higher purpose of human life."

Yep, we do get caught up with everything that promises a better life, a better tomorrow. In the daily monotony we fail to realize this entire existence has a higher purpose and a greater meaning. So naturally after this first sentence, the next thought that came into my mind is the Gita where Krishna tells Arjuna, do your duty and don't expect any rewards. The rewards will come in the form of spiritual enlightenment, only if you do your work with detachment AND with absolute commitment. Arjuna goes on to ask why this knowledge is important, and Krishna replies “One should know because this knowledge will be able to liberate one from the cycle of birth." He adds that this knowledge is capable of releasing one from everything that is inauspicious and from bondage. Unfortunately, our lives are a bondage and our quest is lofty; to reach for that which is the King of Secrets. Such knowledge, while may seem inaccessible is perfectly attainable only if we wish for it badly enough.

I needed to read this today, it grounded me and brought me back to my reality which had faded in the past several weeks. I am grateful to the universe for the reminder.

The complete article is here.