Girl engagement or prostitution

BBC did a picture essay today on Mass wedding in India 'prostitute village'. This article show cases how in a small town in the state of Gujarat, India daughters of sex workers are being married off to prevent them from being pushed into prostitution. Several girls, 18 and over, got married at this mass event with many under 18 getting engaged. Some of these under 18 girls look no older than 5-6 years. The organization that put together the event says, once the girl is engaged she cannot be pushed into prostitution, which ultimately gives her a better life.

I don't know whether I should feel happy or sad on reading this. What kind of society is this that leaves only two options on the table for the girl child - marriage or prostitution? I am appalled to see that the only escape the daughters of these sex workers have from becoming a prostitute themselves is to get married as soon as they turn 18. What happened to free will and choice? I guess, those words haven't reached this town yet.

While the girl will be saved from a life time of agony, disease, humiliation and what not, what will she be subject to? Raising children from 18 to 35+ years of age, cooking, cleaning and if she is really unlucky perhaps domestic violence. Are these alternatives really alternatives? I know its a start but I am at a loss of words to understand the mentality of people who do not think their women are good enough to do anything else. Sell sex and have illegitimate children or have sex for legitimate children.

In a land where Goddess are worshipped and feared, this cavalier attitude towards women is evident of how far off from its scriptures and traditions the country has passed. India was once considered a glorious nation that treated its inhabitants - both male & female - equally. Over the years, these ideas have eroded and been replaced by selfish individuals who for the sake of power over the masses or over the family will go to any lengths. An indeed sad state of affairs!

Nothing new to read

For a while now I have been unsuccessfully sifting through books, picking up one here, another there but nothing motivates me to finish them. I attribute this to two main reasons - 1. work is keeping me busy so by the end of the day when I am on the bus, my mind wants nothing but mindless Bollywood videos or to graze in the distant future and 2. impending motherhood has me on the edge. Nothing but sighing to the baby's movements, muttering to it and visualizing the big day is on my mind. And with just a month to go, I am happy to say it will be off my mind soon, but then the next stage will bring with it a set of challenges and thoughts, I am sure.

Yesterday was Women's Day. I don't believe in having days for things -- I understand they stand to serve a purpose but I still don't believe in them. Why not treat every day as Women's Day? Why do you need a special day to make a big deal of the transgressions and sufferings that women here, there and everywhere go through in order to survive? I was just reading a post on a blog that talked about corruption as it relates to women - apparently in Cambodia women have to pay a bribe to the cops in order to have their rape investigated. Special days like these, I know, highlight the extreme plight and conditions women have to put up with but in my humble opinion these news should be hitting the headlines every day, regardless of whether March 8 or March 9.

Becoming a mother is a blessing they say, while time will prove or disprove this in my case, I do agree that being a woman is a blessing. When I was younger, oft times I hated the fact that I was a woman. This meant I had to suffer the monthly curse, which brought with it a lot of discomfort and pain. It also meant that I had to be the victim of biased standards; while my brother got to go out and hang out with his friends, because I was a girl, I was limited for fear of what might happen to me. Some of this fear also was a fear of society. Growing up in India, regardless of what someone told you, everyone cared about what others thought of them. So a girl from a decent family, out of the house past 8pm, was quickly labeled fast and inappropriate for other well-behaved girls to hang out with. Unfortunately, this attitude still prevails and is extremely dominant in most middle class families.

While I do not deny that sexual violence is abysmal and the perpetrators should be brought to justice in any situation and any country, I often wonder what about the girls/women who live in these close minded societies? Think they are not subject to violence? Think again. Unfortunately in their case their abuse is being perpetrated, in most cases, by their parents who stop them from doing simple tasks like growing their hair out, or cutting it a certain way. They are subject to violence if they are found dating someone, if they annoy their parents or if they simply choose to do something to please themselves. What about these girls? In the name of having the "perfect girl" that can be heralded all around town when she grows up, what most parents get is a stunted woman, unable and often fearful to express her ideas and thoughts for fear of repercussions at their parents' hands. In most cases this cycle continues, only difference now is the parent is easily replaced by the husband. Some, and I am so grateful to the universe to be one of them, successfully escape and after much hard work can rotate their life around. Most are not so lucky and the life style becomes so accepted, they simply learn to live with it.

There are a lot of issues around women - while the big ones rightfully get a lot of attention, if we make women stronger at the onset perhaps, just perhaps, we would be able to get a lot further in fighting crime and ensuring justice prevails. Just a thought.

Take a Leap

Once every four years we get an extra day. The year that normally ends with 365 days in 2012 will end with 366 days. This year we are leaping. In every other month, the 29th day is just another day that passes without any adulation but perhaps because it happens only once every 4 years, February 29 gets special attention. We think of all the strange things that could happen on this day - a birthday, women proposing marriage, getting married or any other dramatic ideas that erstwhile escape our imagination.

Today BBC has a 10 things about February 29 that I thought was interesting. So to celebrate the elusiveness of today, here they are.

King of Secrets

For a while work has kept me busy but this morning I got the time to visit one of my favorite sections of The Hindu, an Indian newspaper. The first article I clicked on immediately caught my attention with its opening sentence. Not only did it apply to my busy schedule over the past couple of days but it calmly help put things in perspective.

"During the brief life span of individuals, the natural tendency in many is to make a mark in life and strive for a career that would enable one to lead a comfortable life of prosperity. These pursuits take up a huge chunk of time and many bypass the chance to explore the higher purpose of human life."

Yep, we do get caught up with everything that promises a better life, a better tomorrow. In the daily monotony we fail to realize this entire existence has a higher purpose and a greater meaning. So naturally after this first sentence, the next thought that came into my mind is the Gita where Krishna tells Arjuna, do your duty and don't expect any rewards. The rewards will come in the form of spiritual enlightenment, only if you do your work with detachment AND with absolute commitment. Arjuna goes on to ask why this knowledge is important, and Krishna replies “One should know because this knowledge will be able to liberate one from the cycle of birth." He adds that this knowledge is capable of releasing one from everything that is inauspicious and from bondage. Unfortunately, our lives are a bondage and our quest is lofty; to reach for that which is the King of Secrets. Such knowledge, while may seem inaccessible is perfectly attainable only if we wish for it badly enough.

I needed to read this today, it grounded me and brought me back to my reality which had faded in the past several weeks. I am grateful to the universe for the reminder.

The complete article is here.

Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude

Some beautiful words by Colin Powell. What I loved the most is as I read every sentence, I could think of someone - a friend, family member who has tried to drag me down or make me feel ashamed or unaccomplished about myself. Sometimes my husband wonders why I am a loner. Why I prefer to usually spend Friday nights by myself at home rather than go out for a drink or see some friends. The truth is beautifully reflected in the words below.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are… Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone who’s not going anywhere…With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad.Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes…do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above.“In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends.”
“Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them.”
“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude..”Colin Powell

Light or not so light reading

I've been admonished that what I call light reading is in fact very brutal and tense. In the words of my mother-in-law "Religious Zealot is not de-stressing". She recommends I move to more of a Sophie Kinsella type book which is loaned me over the holidays. Its about a lawyer who decides to wrap her life and move to the suburbs to work as a maid in some stranger's house. For now, however, I am ploughing through more crazy books. Ms. Kinsella may have to wait a little longer.

Running back to my bounty, I picked out Altar of Eden. About 30% done yesterday, I still couldn't get into the story. What sounded promising at first, turned out to be a bad drag. The story starts off in Baghdad, Iraq where some concealed underground lab is ransacked and some of the most precious cargo is towed out. Turns out this cargo is some genetically modified creatures all of whom share one common trait -- heightened intelligence. A few years later this cargo is found, on a ship, in New Orleans and in come the man and woman on whom it falls to protect, understand and find the people responsible.

For the first 30% the story went on and on about a saber-toothed jaguar who was causing havoc in the area after it escaped from the ship with its cub. Now, finally its moving past the cat on to the rest of the story. We'll see where it goes but I am guessing there are no terrorists here so its definitely a different kind of read :-P

Quick reads

As far as reading goes, this year is off to a flying start! After finishing the Gita and learning a lot about attitudes, mind sets and restricting the ego I am starting 2012 on a much lighter note. Primarily because the Gita sucked the life out of my grey cells and I thought to diversify my reading with something fun, light and fluffy.

Another important reason being a colleague had close to 80 books on her Kindle, courtesy of her boyfriend, who hunts them down on websites for FREE!! I was close to tears when she said she would share them with me. So off I went reading. After completing BRAINRUSH II which was really not a bad read, I am still not sure about the alien angle though, I devoured The Twelfth Imam in a matter of days. Now, I am reading The Lion by Nelson DeMille.

Both these books are thrillers and focus on religious zealots who want to kill to spread their message, something sadly occurring frequently in our world today. The Twelfth Imam is based primarily in Iran where the country is feverishly waiting the arrival of the Chosen One to destroy evil and lead them to salvation. Pack in some action from the CIA, a smart agent, his long lost love and you get all the elements for a conclusively speedy, mindless read.

The Lion is also about Islamists militants but with a little twist. Its about Khalil, a guy hell-bent on vengeance for his parents and family that were killed in an air-strike in Libya. Throw in John Corey, former NYPD homicide detective and now a special agent for the Anti-Terrorist Task Force, who will do everything to stop him. The book has a funny tone, Corey can be a sarcastic but funny chap but there are several bloody tones to it as well, as Khalil goes about the country killing innocent folks.

For the next little while, I will speed through the bounty I am enjoying courtesy of my colleague. Maybe at some point I will feel motivated to pick up something a little more stimulating but for now I am loving the perfunctory reading!