From the other side of the world

I am here holidaying in India since last week. It is always nice to come here and see the family but when you get off the plane you cannot escape the heat. Bombay is famous for its October heat and this year is no different. Despite the unexpected respite of lashing rains last night, the city is boiling. Add to that the crazy traffic and endless caravan of people; you can't help feeling overwhelmed.

I must admit the first few days I spent here made me want to turn right back around and catch a return flight to New York. I didn't mind the ruthless 17 hour trip back in comparison to the chaos I was subjected to here. But as I finally started to settle down I began to see the familiar parts of the city and my family that I came for. My confused mind had cast a veil on my ability to see what was important and what I cherished. That veil, after some much deserved rest, was finally lifted.

What began as a family trip became a little bit more. Looking around the city, I saw so much that was created while I was away, the city I knew was not there anymore. Confusion and chaos always existed but there were several unfamiliar elements to this city that I was unable to identify with. And that invariably always brings up the question: where do I belong? I knew I was traveling down a slippery slope but I didn't heed my rational mind.

Its easy to ask tough questions but you may not like the answers. I am not sure I have found the answer to mine. I live in a city where I was not born, whose culture, attitudes and ways of life I have willingly adopted but ostensibly is not mine. On the other hand the city I was born and brought up in has become so unfamiliar, so different; I am unable to identify with it. I am not sure if I am willing to accept it either (not that it cares).

I am waging a familiar battle for most people who leave their city, country, family and friends to live in a different world. I left behind all that was precious to me to explore the unknown and see if there is a place out there that I can create and that can define me. Not sure so far if I have found it. But then again, isn't that the beauty of life?

Rupee from Mumbai, India.

Tolstoy & Karenina

I’ve been on a reading freeze of sorts. Normally having books lined up, very little is interesting now. I really don’t know what I am in the mood for – action, romance, what? With a confused mind, I drifted in the library last week, looking for anything that would be exciting.

Came across Coehlo’s new book O Aleph but it was on a week express ride. Not to say I wouldn’t have been able to finish but I already owe the library $9.50 and if this book was late and I was fined again; after $10 you are not issued any books. So why not pay the fine, one would ask? Well…I don’t know. Someday I will; until then I hang at the $9.50 charge.

After much disinterested browsing, I stumbled upon the stack of books which display the OBC or Oprah’s Book Club books. By no means am I a follower but she has some interesting books and when devoid of ideas, it could be a good place to look. One of the first ones I saw was Say You’re One of Them. I diligently read these short stories when they were released; partly due to the praise they received and partly because of their origin. The fictional stories were written in Nigeria and talked about characters like us and the daily difficulties life threw at them. One was about 2 kids – who had to escape from being sold, another one about a family that had to escape a bloody riot. The subjects were good, but the writing was really dry and left me completely unimpressed. So you see, OBC is not completely dependable.

My eyes, however, fell on a great author whose work I’ve been meaning to read for a while – Leo Tolstoy. His Anna Karenina lay on the shelf inviting me to read. We’ve all heard about this classic but I didn’t know much about it so I decided to dive into the path less taken; especially since reading Fall of Giants; I’ve been completely mesmerized with Germany & Russia!

 It’s a story about a rich lady Anna Karenina, who according to people who view her is living the perfect life – a rich husband, good standing in society and a lovely boy – but falls haplessly in love with someone else. Along with the drama, the story promises to bring to light more about Russian history and politics, everything that appeals to me right now!

So far the story is still developing; Anna Karenina is visiting her husband and has met this man she is supposed to fall in love with. But right now, that man is busy wooing someone else; albeit he has already noticed Anna Karenina.

No impressions – good or bad – about the story yet but I am sure that will change soon. Let’s see if Anna destroys her life (because in those days when you stepped out of the line, that’s pretty much what happened) or resigns herself to her fate (which she doesn’t sound like at all). But I am refraining from any judgment, will wait for time to divulge her secrets to me!

1000 novels everyone must read

Came across an interesting list today on The Guardian about 1000 novels everyone must read. Now I don't know about reading every single book on that list but quite a few sound very appealing. Maybe I can go to this list on days when nothing appeals and I cannot decide what to read.

Fall of Giants

This past week was excruciatingly slow so I took advantage of it and caught up on some reading. After finishing Eye of the Needle, I picked up the last Follett book not yet read – Fall of Giants. Over the past year, since its release I unsuccessfully tried reading the book a couple of times. The first time I lugged the 1000 page book half way around the world, the next time it just sat in my drawer. I was not motivated.

This time was different; I started it and raced through it within the week unable to put it down. First book of the century trilogy, Fall of Giants deals with several families and their attempts to survive during World War I. Ken Follett has a remarkable writing style which is further pronounced when he is narrating period pieces. It’s almost as if something in his writing changed and he adapted a new way of writing since Pillars of the Earth. To me all his books before Pillars have a different tone.

He talks of several characters scattered throughout the globe – aristocracy in England, mine workers in Wales, peasants in Russia, wealthy bureaucrats in Germany and nascent politicians in USA. Of course, you know at some point some if not all of the characters will meet each other and develop the story line further.

What struck me most about the story is the disparity between the rich and the poor. Much hasn’t changed since, but reading about the tyranny in Russia at the time of the tsar brought to mind a whole new reality. What history tells us is the tsar and the tsarita along with their children were mercilessly gunned down by revolutionaries. But history is not very kind, for it ignores to describe in detail the hardships that forced the common man to stand up and say “I’ve had enough!” When you are hanged for merely raising your voice against monarchy or gunned down because the tsar wants to dispel the crowd and lose your parent, child, sibling, reality becomes different. And all you were asking for is more bread or less squalid conditions. Is that really a crime? If a government cannot provide that basic need, what good is it? How are citizens supposed to survive when the harsh reality wakes them up at midnight to stand in line for a single loaf of bread that will run out before 5 am? What sort of existence is that?!

Post WWI, the story ends rather quickly but not before describing the harsh reality of what Germany had to endure. Much has been said and read about the reasons for WWI, some more real than others. Now I would not say Germany was not to blame but to think they triggered WWI, entirely on their own, would be extremely naïve. I always thought the terms meted out to them after the war were harsh but to think a loaf of bread cost 127 billion francs! I was not ready for that. Another case of history written only to exalt the winners. Imagine if Germany had won - how would have history been written then?

Then there is the cause of women – not being able to vote, cannot leave the home without an escort, constantly talked down to by their male counterparts – reminds me of the Taliban! You’d think the wars and the subsequent destruction would have taught us a thing or two, which I'm sure they have, but we still have a long way to go. Mankind is still scattered, fragmented, biased on gender, religion, even color of skin. We are all equal and a part of the whole. If only we all thought like John Donne.

'No Man is an Island'

No man is an island entire of itself; every man

is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

own were; any man's death diminishes me,

because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Fun reads

After finishing Too Big to Fail, my brain was incapable of processing anymore intelligent material. So I resorted to my favorite type of go-to novels -- Thrillers! Over the course of a long overdue vacation and some sunny weeks in New York I finished reading 3-4 books, after which tiredness descended upon me and I abandoned reading for a while.

During the course of my non-stop tirade I did manage to uncover a new character that I quite enjoyed. Jack Reacher, a Lee Child creation. Like most women, I love reading about guys who are tougher than tough, can get out of any situation effortlessly and have razor sharp intellect. Jack Reacher meets all those qualities and then some. He is the tough guy’s tough guy. So on and on I went reading about him and then Google-d him. For those who’d like a mental picture of Reacher, think of Hugh Jackman in his latest Wolverine avatar…ahh…times 10. Well not so much, maybe 5, ok no 3. Yes, 3 is good.  So with this picture in my head I am Googling Jack Reacher and guess what I find? They are making a movie out of one of the books. Now, firstly, what is up with every book being turned into a movie? Most never live up to the books (think Angels & Demons and the biggest disaster Da Vinci Code) so why ruin a handsome book? But the other important criterion is who is playing Reacher. Before the next line think of that mental picture again. Now, go on. It’s Tom Cruise! TOM CRUISE?! TOM CRUISE?! The little cuddly mamma’s boy? The one who looked more beautiful in Top Gun than Kelly McGillis? That ruins that!

I think it was the uber disappointment of reading that which swore me off books for a few weeks but thank fully Ken Follett changed all that. My mother in law sent Eye of the Needle, a book based during WWII. So spies, soldiers, murders are all rampant! Die Nadel or the Needle is the spy the MI5 is trying to track down. Throw in a woman not loved by her husband marooned on a lonely island and all in all you get a good thriller. Apparently it debuted as Storm Island and they made a movie from it too. There you go again!

The pages are flying as are the lovely days of summer. I’ll wait for the weather to change before taxing my brain. For now, beach reads is the way to go!

Way to escape bondage

I must share snippets of an article I kept re-reading yesterday. The sheer beauty and

magnificence of the words moved me to an alternate reality and brought me to a realization that we don't have to be bound by petty reactions/attitudes of bosses, co-workers or others who fail to realize the efforts we put in. Because in the end it is only the detached who is able to realize after all.

"The only way to escape the consequences of the acts is to adopt a detached attitude while one performs the acts.

This means one has to give up the sense of ownership (ego) as well as the fruits of actions. Renunciation means giving up not action but the fruits of action, says the Lord. Because of Avidya (ignorance) and lack of proper understanding, an individual gets confused about the agency of the action. An uncultivated mind sees things in the wrong light and does not realise the truth. His possessive attitude to the work makes it difficult for him to renounce the Karma and its fruits. But the realised soul is not possessive with the body and the senses and remains detached."

The complete article is here.

The comfort of home

Some days the weather inspires you to write; others it doesn’t. Today is one such day. What is so special about today you ask? The sky is forlorn as if shedding tears over a love long lost. The weather is cold, reminding of what lies ahead; in the months to come. The gruesomeness of the bitter cold remembered by everyone as the weather slowly but surely turns to its old ways. But it is exactly this weather that has inspired me to pen something. I am reminded of a vacation I took a few months ago that now seems so far; so long ago. This weather also reminds me of home; the warm smell of tea boiling in a steel pot with lots of ginger and tea leaves with the sound of oil frying beside it where my mother is getting ready to add another onion fritter.

I often wonder what makes a home a home and it’s precisely this. Even if I am so far away, like a perfect picture I see the movements, smell the smells and hear the sounds. Despite the million noises shuttling through my over worked brain, the thought of home calms me down. Seeing my mother standing next to the stove in her familiar garb relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace which I so often crave.

Luckily I have that home far away from home; where my mother (in-law) putters around the kitchen, cooking up new smells. I am not yet completely familiar with all the smells, neither, I must admit, do I crave them but the ability to recall them and draw serenity from them is harmony.

Days like today carry their own indulgence as do sunny, warm days when the heart is singing along with the birds in the sky. Melancholy days like today are a reminder that despite the weather pulling my strings down sweet memories of my mothers brings a smile to my face.